Laugh out Legaia
by UyoniRaze X
Summary: Off the wall scenarios, and unexpected behind the scenes. LOL!
1. Y'don't wanna know,it was coffee induced

You Can Get Hurt Being Stupid  
Scenario: Outskirts of Ratayu, boiling Lava Vahn:inspects lava a little too close:  
Noa: "Look a town, look Vahn a town!"  
Gala: "Surrounded by molten lava, yes. And impossible to jump across."  
Noa: "Oh." :pout, pout: "Vahn, I don't like it here, it's too hot. Lets go."  
Vahn:tries to inspect the lava again:  
Noa: "Vahn! NO! I SAID I DON'T LIKE IT HERE! IT'S HOT!"  
Gala: "Vahn, I have endured much out of the respect for you as the leader but-"  
Meta: Vahn, are you listening! What they are saying makes sense. Even I don't get you anymore. Could it be, that the world can be saved by such a troubled youth?  
Noa: "Vahn, I believe in you."  
Gala: "Vahn! It's the Mist, It's getting Thicker. Common, let's go."  
Meta: Vahn! Stop worrying about the stupid heat Vahn:blinks, gazes at them strangely: "Got any marshmallows?" Noa: "…you're….stupid…." :pushes  
Vahn:Vahn hangs from ledge:  
Vahn: "Euh, guys. …I'm still alive. I'm getting third degree burns from the steam? Oh, yeah, that burns-"  
Gala:follows Noa: "You should have punched him." Noa: "Let's go see if Ixis wants to join us."

No! No! Noa  
Scenario: In West or East Voz, with premature BridgeGrass  
Noa: "Ohh, What's this?" :inspects BridgeGrass:  
Gala: "You two don't know anything, do you?"  
Noa : "No!" :eyes the swaying plant:  
Vahn: "But I'm guessing you're going to assume we don't and give us some sort of informative -NOA!"  
Noa:looks away, innocently: "WHAT?" :cocks head, looking at the tempting morsel:  
Noa: "Is it edible?"  
Gala: "NO! It's not edible. That's called BridgeGrass. It's not fully mature yet, but when it is-"  
Noa:starts chawing on the grass like it was celery: "FWHY Foen FOO UFF FU FERFFIFLIFER FROMF FHAT FREFERFEF?"  
Gala:disgusted: "Do you know how to swim Vahn?"

OOPSIE!  
Scenario: Dr. Usha Research Center where Man is Taking a Bath Noa: "A Bath! Look Vahn and Gala! I found a hot spring!" :arms flailing happily:  
GuyinBath: "UHM…." :blushes:  
Noa: "I want to take a bath too! Let's all take a bath together!"  
GuyinBath: "…..I…..-" :grabs a towel, and wraps himself, and runs away:  
Gala:looks away in embarrassment:  
Vahn:snickers, teases: "I will if you will Noa!"  
Terra: Noa! You cannot bathe with him. He is a man, you are a young woman Noa: "But, we're friends! And I'm not shy!" :semi-undresses:  
Vahn:wide eyed, blushing:  
Gala:sissy-screams:faints:  
Noa:giggle, giggle: "This is fun!"

ON BROADWAY  
Scenario: Gala becomes the stand-in comedian Gala:woodenly:"Do I reaaly have to do this?"  
Vahn:busts up laughing, falls on the floor rolling with laughter:  
Noa: "I don't get it." :is confused:  
Meta: Ozma! Quit feeding Gala his lines!  
Terra: No one wants to hear your filthy jokes!  
Gala: "Everyone in the audience, I'm sorry if you do not find me entertaining. I myself don't even have the slightest idea-" Vahn: "He-He!H-H-He didn't! Oh my TIEG!That's the funniest part part of the whole show!" Gala:frowns, rolls eyes: "Vahn! How many healing leaves have you used today?"

CatFight Scenario: When Mei and Noa first meet Mei:  
"Vahn? Who is that?"  
Noa: "I'm Noa! Vahn's friend."  
Mei: "Hello Noa. I'm Mei. A friend of Vahn's too."  
Noa:sour face: "Vahn's my friend."  
Mei:grimaces: "Vahn and I have been friends since we were little."  
Noa: "He saved me and Terra the Wolf from a bad seru." :sticks out tounge:  
Mei: "He saved me from a lot of seru, when the mist came into Rim Elm." :scowls:  
Noa:does signature tantrum dance:"He likes me more!" Mei: "Nu-Uh! Me!" :turns red in the face:  
Vahn:thinks of the advantage to having two girlfriends: Noa:hears him chuckle:  
Mei: "Vahn, you're no better than a pimp!"  
Noa: "Pimp? PIMPS ARE BAD! I HATE BAD PEOPLE!" :fwaps Vahn into a wall:everything goes black:  
:A few minutes later:  
Mei: "Vahn! You've made a charming friend. I'm happy for you."  
Vahn:turns to exit, has a black eye and his arm in a sling: "Yeah, I bet you are."


	2. Wow, it's like I'm pulling them out of m...

LOL if You Would, Please…..

Hello and welcome again. Please, Laugh out Loud at the Spoofings and Rough-Cut Scenes of Legend of Legaia.

**Battle!  
****Scenario: A Battle on the Field  
**Vahn:summons Lippian:  
Lippian:enters the onto field, charges to do 'Ultimate Death':  
Lippian:Anime Sweatdrop. 'Utimate Rave':busts up doing a strange headbopping dance.:  
Vahn: "I…hate…you." :fwaps Lippian on the head:  
'Vahn's Party has walked away from the battle''Lippian Monster is convulsing'

**Lemme Du It  
****Scenario:  
The Genisis Tree at East/West Ratayu (Songi's Trapped Gene Tree?)  
**Noa: "Let me touch it!":is zapped: "Vahn, It hurts! Don't touch it everyone it hurts!"  
Vahn:attempts to touch:  
Noa: "No, wait Vahn!"  
Gala:sneaks behind the two:touches the barrier, is zapped: "Whee!"  
Noa: "Gala,….!"  
Vahn:steps infront of her, shakes his head:Gala: "Thiiiiissss……feeeeeeeelllllzz……guuuuuuuoooo-ooood!" :is thrown back:  
Vahn:steps up to Gala: "Stick out your tongue."  
Gala:cross-eyed, incoherent:sticks out tongue, sparks:  
Vahn: "Yep. He's fried." :turns back to Gala: "You learn your lesson?"  
Gala:sits up, is serious: "Yes."  
Noa: "And that was?"Gala: "That it's going to be really cool when I stick my tounge on it!"  
Noa and Vahn:Hold him back: "No!"

**It's Fun Being A Girl  
****Scenario: Noa Becomes a Seru Bride  
**Noa: "Ok, Eliza. After I get ready, I'm going to the castle in your place!"  
Eliza: "Are you sure it's alright for Noa to go in my place?"Vahn: "Yes."  
Noa: "I'll be alright! Don't worry about me! Here, give me that dress!"  
Eliza: "Oh! I am so fortunate!"  
Gala:goes to the other side of the room, and stares out the window:

Noa:goes to change:is confused, runs out infront of the boys: "….Um,….I have a problem."  
Noa: "The dress is too big."  
Eliza: "Oh,….I…I'm sorry. I…" :starts to cry:  
Vahn: "Wha?" :grins mischievously, and ushers Noa and Eliza to him:  
Vahn:whisper, whisper: "Gala looks about right doesn't he?"  
Noa and Eliza: "Yes!"  
Noa: "But, how will we get him to wear it?"  
Vahn: "Hey Gala! Noa needs you're help with the zipper."  
Gala:startled: "But I-I I-uh…." :faints:  
Vahn: "Oh-"Noa: "Kay-…." :rustle, rustle:work, work:  
A few minutes later, and with the help of a slowness chain-  
Guards:knock, knock: "We're here for the Seru Bride."  
Gala:prettied up with the help of a lot of makeup "………."  
The Three ExitEliza:appears from behind the bed:Vahn: "Good thing Gala's a monk, because he makes one ugly bride."

**Y'all havin' a Party or What?  
****Scenario: Urais Mais  
**Vahn:missing a shoe and his vest: "Gala, your turn."  
Noa: "Uhm,…." looks down at undergarments: "Vahn, where's your chest? How come Gala and I only have chests?"  
Gala:blushes:  
Cara: "What are you all doing, throwing a party?"  
Vahn:Snatches up the bottle.: "Uhm,……ah-absolutely noneya!"  
Gala: "Vahn,…you and your ridiculous games!" :snatches up Noa's shirt and puts it on:  
Cara: "…Al-righty then." :snickers:  
Noa:leans over to whisper to Vahn: "Vahn,…. Gala drank the bong water. Didn't he?"  
Vahn: "So did you."

**All I have is this Change! Inspired by 'Whose Line is it Anyway'  
****Scenario: When Cara meets the Heroes at Uruis Mais  
**Gala: "Cara, how can you travel though the mist freely? How are you able to travel without a Ra-Seru?"  
Cara: "Ra-Seru? All I have is this 'good luck charm'."  
The Conspicuous voice of that guy on Whose Line: "Change!"  
Cara: "This Animal Cracker."  
CVotG: "Change!"  
Cara: "This old picture of my boyfriend."  
CVotG: "Change!"  
Cara: "This orange tennis ball..."  
CVotG "Change!"  
Noa: "A cheeto!"Drew: "Say Wha?"Vahn: "….A bald Canadian!"  
The bald Canadian"Captian HAIR!"

**Ladies, and Gents….Our Leader!  
****Scenario: Frozen Genesis Trees in Buma  
**Noa: "Vahn! Gala! The Genesis Trees! They're frozen stiff!"  
Gala: "No! Oh No!" :rushes to a tree: "Vahn, the Genesis Tree **is **frozen! It's covered in snow and-"  
Vahn:tongue stuck to tree: "I kinda figured it out for myself."

**Don't Argue with the Game **

**Scenario: Battle Field, Acquiring 'Spoon'**'  
Meta has acquired the powerof SPOON'  
Vahn: "Spork."Mysterious Omnious Game Voice: 'Meta has acquired the power of SPOON!'  
Vahn:calm and coolly: "Spork."  
MOGV: 'SPOON'  
Vahn:throws hands: "It's all spoons and forks! Call it 'spork' for crying out loud!"  
MOGV: 'Vahn's team is about to die by my very sharp knife, which I'm sharpening right now.'

**Gaza?  
****S****cenario: Gaza's Intro  
**Gaza: " I am Gaza. An old man who walks in the path of carnage and bloodshed."  
Gaza:Grins cheesily: "And when I'm not doing that, I like to stop and smell the flowers, sing happy songs, and…enjoy long walks on the beach."

**Dare to Dream  
****Scenario: Noa's Dream  
**Noa: "Father? Father? Is that you Father?"  
Spirit: "Noa. There is something I must tell you."  
Noa: "What?"  
Spirit: "I'm a free form floaty thing. Whee!":Floats about:

**The _Mist_? Really?  
****Scenario: Random  
**Random Person: The Mist is Eviol! The Mist is Death in Disguise!  
Vahn:smirks: "Oh Really?" : lifts leg and poots:  
Random person:holding nose: "This boys fart is Eviol! His fart is Death in Disguise!"  
Vahn:glances to his party: "Really? I just call it a Silent Frog."

**I'm A Pretty Lay-Dee  
****Scenario: Upstairs Sol, by the clothesline  
**Vahn: "Hmm…"  
Noa: "Look at the clothes!...I want to try on the clothes!"  
Gala: "Noa! Those clothes do not belong to you! Those clothes belong to the Biron Monks."  
Vahn:snatches a bra off the line, puts on head: "Really Gala. Y'think?"  
Noa:giggles:  
Vahn:runs around: "I'm a pretty lay-dee! A pretty Biron Monk lay-dee!" :runs into Master Deez:  
Vahn:gazes up: "Oh, boy. I'm in trou-ble."

**CatFight  
****Scenario: Upstairs Sol, fight with Songi  
**Gala: "Songi….y-you bastard!"  
Songi: "Hey, wait! Wait you simple minded muscle-bound oaf!" :tears swell in his eyes:  
Songi: "You….you…you bitch!" :catfight:  
Vahn: "Im-mature…So,…Noa…"  
Noa: "Here I come Gala! I'll help you Gala!" :jumps into the fight:  
Vahn:takes out bra and puts it over his head: "Here I come, BITCHES!" :dives into the fight cloud:

**Grampa  
****Scenario: After Sol Gaza dies, assimilates with Sol Genesis Tree  
**Gala: "Noa, for an instant, he saw Mar, his granddaughter in you."  
Noa: "Old Man,…I mean, Grandpa! Watch over all of us, ok?"  
Gala exits  
Noa: "Grampa." :exits:  
Echoing Voice: "I'm not Grampa!"  
Vahn:pale and shaking: "Oh-k….. so _I _must'vedrank the bong water."

**What's Love Got to Do With THIS?  
****Scenario: Urais Mais, with Cara  
**Cara: "Well, if I told you that you'd be reviving the Genesis Trees for love,…You kids wouldn't understand!" :exits:  
Noa: "Vahn, what's love?"  
Vahn:blushes, turns away:  
Gala:gasps:  
Noa: "What?"  
Vahn:turns around, leans close to Noa:  
Noa: "What's wrong with your face Vahn? It's…all weird."  
Vahn:face to face with Noa:pause:  
Vahn: "Beap!" :honks her nose:

**Yahoo!**

**Scenario: Nivora Ravine  
**Meta: No good Vahn. If only that large snowball would fall in our path.  
Vahn&Meta:wait until Gala arrives:  
Gala:pushes snowball into path:  
Vahn: "AHH!"  
Gala:peers over the ledge: "Vahn! Vahn are you alright?"  
Vahn:sprawled out on the snow, flails arms in the snow:  
Vahn:sarcastic: "Sure,…just lyin' here, makin snow angels."  
Gala: "So,…you're ok?" :snickers:  
Vahn:scowls, hurls a snowball: "NO!"


	3. Round Three,Laugh!

O-h….kay….  
Scenario: First Having Learned 'Noa's Ark', A random battle  
Noa:does Noa's Ark:  
Noa: "somethin'somethin'somethin'" (hey, I don't know what she's saying either) :does Jurassic Blow:  
Vahn :0-0: "Noa. You're supposed to do 'Noa's Ark':  
Noa: "….:o-0: "Uhm,…"  
Gala: "Vahn, you don't even do Vahn's Craze."  
Vahn:falls to knees in despair: "It's the Vahn! It's the Vahn, isn't it! Why can't you all just leave the Vahn alone!"  
:Appears Chad from Charlie's Angels:  
Chad:"No! It's the Chad! It's always the Chad!"  
:All out howling:  
Vahn: "The VAHN!"  
Chad: "The Chad!"  
Gala&Noa:--: "The _stupidity_."

It Happens  
Scenario: First Battle with Cort  
Cort:engages Mystic Shield:  
Noa:attempts an attack:Mystic Shield fizzles:  
Cort: "Ah! Damn'd batteries!" :hits the Sim-Seru:Mystic Shield fizzles out:  
Gala:shrugs: "Energizer batteries, Cort?"  
:Appears Energizer Bunny:  
Disembodied Voice: "Keeps Going, and Going, and-"  
Cort:pops in a couple Duracells:summons Evil Seru Magic:  
EB:is attacked: "Ghah!" :summons Big Cymbals:  
Cort:is attacked: shakes head:  
Vahn,Gala,Noa: "Huzzah!"

Thunder Book IV  
Scenario: Random Battle  
Noa:summons Nova:  
Nova:performs 'Violent Wind':poots:  
Gala:places hand on head: "How embarrassing and vulgar."  
Noa: "No it's not! It's ok to do that! It's fun!" :does a lady-like poot:  
Vahn: "Everybody does it eventually." :poots:  
Ozma: It's natural:puhhhh-oooooots: (hey! Ra-seru can poot too! Or else, wouldn't they explode)  
Gala:slightly embarrassed: "I-I-….don't know."  
Vahn: "You've never farted?"  
Gala: "I-I…this is so wrong. It has to be."  
Ozma: Gala. Common!  
Gala: "O-h, kay…." :bends over:POOOOOOOTs a thunderous poot:kills an enemy:  
:Afterbattle:  
GALA RECEIVED THUNDER BOOK IV  
Gala learned 'Thunder Blow!'

But Officer!  
Scenario: Random Battle  
Gala:summons Mushura:  
Mushura:does Crazy Driver:almost about to exit:  
:Randomly appears Mr.Officer, a Lippian in all official attire:  
Officer: does siren:and pulls Mushura over:  
Officer: "Sir, license and registration."  
Mushura:blinks, and looks to Gala:  
Gala:mouths 'I don't know'  
Officer :writes up a ticket, and gives it to Gala:leaves:  
Noa&Vahn:give Gala an evil glare:  
Vahn: "Well, _Noa_. Guess you won't get that new _battle robe_."  
Noa:falls to her knees, bawling: "I hate you Gala!"

Our Heroes when Not Busy  
Scenario: A random Inn, late at night  
Noa:asleep:  
Gala:watching a snowy T.V.: "Vahn, hurry up!"  
Vahn:outside, on the roof: "Bite me Gala!" :summons Gillium:  
Gillium: "….Satellite again, Vahn?"  
Vahn: "Aw, common. We'll let you watch with us. It's Friday. And you _KNOW_ what's on Friday."  
Gillium:69: "REALLY?" :does Space Cannon:picks up foreign channel:  
Gillium, Gala, Vahn:oo:  
Gillium: "Wouldn't that hurt?"  
Gala: "I can't bear to watch anymore of this!" :turns away:  
Vahn:grinning big: "Tha-t's…_Co-ol_."  
Noa:wakes up: "O-O!...CARTOOONS!" :runs infront of the t.v. set:  
Vahn:clicks tongue: "….damn."

How Anti-Climatic  
Scenario: A random place in Karisto Kingdom  
Vahn, Gala, Noa:playing cards with Puera:  
Puera: "Picka card, any card."  
Noa:nervously chooses a red one:flips it over:  
Noa: "I don't die!"  
Gala:trembles, and picks a grey one: "….I don't either!" +o:  
Vahn:is caught peeking under a card:  
Puera: "Vahn! That's the eighth time you've tried to cheat! Darn YOU!" :performs Dream Illusion:  
Noa&Gala:0-o:are confused: "That's it?"  
Puera:squeaks: "…So sue me."  
Vahn:trembling in fear: "….I don't see dead people….there's no boogieman…..I ain't scaurd."  
Gala:grins mischeviously:approaches Vahn: "….Boom…"  
Vahn: "Ghahw!" :screams all-girly like:jumps:

Censored  
Scenario: Random Battle  
Noa:summons Theeder:  
Theeder:powers up:needle erects:  
:Appear Uyoni:  
Uyoni:runs by with a censor patch:puts it over theeder's lower torso:  
Vahn: "The heck?"  
Uyoni:Texan accent: "There's sex reference there!"  
Noa:whisper-whisper: "Terra is that like when we were talking in the cave…Sex?"  
Terra: ….Uhm…..  
Meta: ….Terra….:snicker, snicker:

Ask a Serious Question, Don't Expect a Smart Answer  
Scene: Doctor Usha's Research Lab, Going to Uris Mais  
Mrs. Usha: "Now I may a worry wart, but I'm uneasy about this. Let's just see if you understood everything."  
Mrs. Usha: "Where is the home of the Seru?"  
Noa: "Oh! Oh! I Know! I Know!"  
Mrs. Usha: "Noa?"  
Noa:puts finger to mouth, concentrating: "Is it….Uris Mais?"  
Mrs.Usha: "Correct!"  
Mrs. Usha: "Next Question. What are you going to do to in Uris Mais?"  
Gala: "Dream dreams."  
Mrs. Usha: "Oh! You all are so smart!"  
Mrs. Usha: "Ok, Vahn. What are you going to get in Uris Mais?"  
Vahn:is tired from talking all night: "Swimsuits for adults."  
Gala: "Vahn!"  
Vahn:rubs eyes lazily: "What?...You saw 'em too."  
:Mr.Usha runs downstairs:  
Mr.Usha:"Boys….Have you seen…" :notices his wife's dazed look:  
Mr.Usha: "My research notebook?"

Another Warped Cliché  
Scenario: Just before battle with the Delilas'  
Gi: "I am Gi Delilas! I deliver fatal blows to my opponents body" :does flashy moves:  
Lu: "I am Lu Delilas! I strike with lightning speed!" :does flashy moves:  
Che: "I am Che Delilas! Brute strength and chaos are what I'm about!" :does(guess what)flashy moves:  
Gi,Lu,Che: "We are the Delilas Family!"  
Vahn: "Pshaw!"  
Gi,Lu,Che:confused:  
Gala: "I am Gala! 17, a Master Teacher of Biron. And….my favorite color is blue!" :does a Matrix style jump and kick:  
Noa: "I'm Noa! I'm about 12 or so, hate being alone, and I like supper!" :does signature move of karate stance:  
Vahn:pulls out the brazier from Sol, and places it on his head: "And I'm Vahn! 14, I'm on the cover of _Legaia's Top Hunk Heroes_ magazine, the #1 environmentalist. I also like to help out in the after school program, and am the stereotyped silent protagonist."  
Meta: ….You just shot your title to hell, Vahn.  
Vahn: "Whoopsie Doodles, Ramen Noodles. I'm a preddie lady!"

What's it Gonna Be?  
Scenario: Cort's Death  
Cort: "…How…is that….possible? Beaten by kids."  
Noa:sobs:  
Cort: "Now that I die,…so's the Mist Generator." : drags himself to the edge:tries to fall:  
Vahn: "…It's an awful way down."  
Gala: "Yeah. And Juggernaught looked pretty hungry."  
Cort:o0:gazes down:  
Vahn: "Might hurt. A lot. Maybe worse than being a good guy?"  
Gala: "I dunno."  
Cort:sticks out thumb: "Beat it Sim-Seru! I'm one of the good guys now."  
Sim-Seru: No! If I die, you die with me:forces Cort to fall:  
Cort: "NO!" :echo, echo:  
Noa: "Brother." :…is sad:  
Cort:still falling:  
:Scenes change, sad music plays:  
Cort:falls into Mist Lake, with Jugg:falls onto a sharp spike, hurts tush:  
Cort: "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
Cort:falls back onto the platform:-:00:  
Cort:"….Uh,…lemme get back to you on that." :rubs tush:

Sleeping Through Reality?  
Scenario: Snowdrift Cave, Noa awakens to Terra  
Terra: "Noa. Did you have a bad dream?"  
Noa:groggily: "Yeah…..I had a dream that I was in a cave, being raised by a talking wolf"  
Terra:growls: "You _weren't _dreaming."  
Noa: "Ok." :drifts off back to sleep:

The Truth  
Scenario: Snowdrift Cave,…  
Terra: Ok. Noa. Let's go over there to that spot to talk.  
Noa:follows:sits beside Terra:  
Terra: …Noa…I have something to tell you…I am actually...not your mother.  
Noa:O-O:begins to cry:  
Terra: I'm actually a seru.  
Noa:on the ground, bawling:  
Terra:-: I-ah…I'm actually a Ra-Seru?...A good Seru?...One not affected by the mist  
Noa:turning blue from crying hard:  
Terra:'': Uhm-Uhm-Uhm:panics:becoming like 'a mist crazed seru' just by the sound of Noa's wailing:  
Terra: Here Noa! You can pet me:offers her head:  
Noa: "Yahie!" :pet-pet; pet-pet:

Deadly Promise?  
Scenario: Picnic at a random area in Sebucus Islands, after receiving appraised 'dark stone'  
Gala: "Vahn,…where's the last roasted Ostrich leg?"  
Vahn:stuffed mouth: "Ask Noa-"  
Noa:gulps a mouthful of food:shakes head: "Nu-uh! Vahn! You're lying! I did not! I saw you take it!"  
Noa:starts to cry: "Gala, I'm not lying, Vahn took it! Don't be mad at me, Gala! I didn't take it-"  
Vahn:grumble-grumble: "…did too."  
Gala: "…..Vahn?"  
Vahn: "The heck, I didn't." :angrily reaches for some food:happens to pick up the hidden Ostrich leg:  
Gala: "….So,…..you did." :jumps up and summons Jedo:  
Jedo:does signature 'flashy moves':holds scythe above head:  
!DEADLY PROMISE!  
Jedo:sneaks up to Vahn: "….Watch yourself when you sleep. I'm like Santa Claus. I'll be Watching you."  
Jedo:swings scythe threatfully: "And I'll scalp you! Scalp those blue tresses. And you be like all of Uyoni's Barbies that she had when she was little!" :evil guttural laughter:  
'Vahn is paralyzed with FEAR'  
'Gala and Noa are laughing their asses off!'

He-llo!  
Scene: Jugg Cort, Bio Castle  
Noa: "I'm human Cort! I'm Human! It's good to be human! So, be human again Cort!"  
Cort: "Who speaks!"  
Noa: "I'm Noa!" :pout, pout:  
Cort: "I know no Noa." :dramatic scene: "I need no Noa!" :zaps Noa:  
Cort: "I will use my powers to rid this world of you pathetic humans! I am part of something greater!" :squirms, wiggles:  
Cort:appears before heroes:  
Vahn: "Whoa! Dude!" :covers eyes:  
Gala: "Oh no way!"  
Cort: "What?"  
Vahn: "…..You're…Psst!" :points:still covering eyes:  
Cort:glances down: "Ahh!...I'm,….I'm…."  
:Appears Uyoni:  
Uyoni: "Some perfect Entity." :slaps on a censor bar: "Sorry people!...But,…we can't have nudity."  
Uyoni:semi-cups mouth: "If you want to know what Cort's 'part of something greater' is all about-"  
Uyoni:eyes over the censor bar:grimaces, then giggles: "Say '**Pianist**' _really_ fast."


	4. MMM, like cheese! It's all Gouda::chomp:...

1

**Sexual Innuendo There!**

**Scene: Random Battle:  
**Gala: You dumb bird:attacks with a punch:  
Ostritch:Peck, Peck:  
Gala:getting pummled: "Ghah! You... Pecker!"  
Vahn:in awe: "...I don't believe it!"  
Noa: "Awwwm! Gala said a bad word!"  
Vahn: "...I don't know if I can look up to you the same way again, Gala."

**Vahn's Bordom Antics **

**Scene: During the Preperation of the Party  
**Vahn:eyes Biron Statue:Recieves Healing Leaf:  
Vahn:bored:pulls out of his pocket, ...a can of cheeze whiz:  
Vahn:decorates statue:  
Gala:"GAHH! You can't spray Cheese Whiz on Biron's statue!"  
Vahn: "Ahw,….it looks…pretty! ":squirt squirt: "Birthday party pretty!"

**I Believe I can...Fly?**

**Scene: Heroes being flown to Soren Camp  
**Gala: "I...we're up so high!"  
Vahn:nods:  
Noa:flapping arms: "I BELIEVE I CAN FLY! I BELIEVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKY! I THINK ABOUT IT EVERY NIGHT AND DAY..."  
Soren: "S-ttop flailing your arms, or I might drop you!" :worry, struggle:  
Noa: "...THIS IS FUN!" :flap, flap:  
Soren:loses grips:  
Vahn:mouth agape:  
Gala: "Noa! You dropped NOA!"  
Noa:flap,...flapp flapp flappity flapp:starts to gain height:bobs:  
Noa:struggling squinty face: "I Belive I can, I...believe... I _can_!"  
Vahn:shruggs: " I guess...all that arm flapping wasn't for nothin'."

**LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AND...WHAT EVER SPECIES YOU MAY BE! MAY I PRESENT:**

**LEGIA 2: DUAL SAGA **

**One Good Deed Deserves Another?**

**Scene: darakin castle, Nils is lost  
**Lang:approaches crying Nils:  
Nils:sniff: "It's you! Waah!"  
Lang: "What's the matter Nils?"  
Nils: "Waah!" :sniff, hiff: "I followed a ...strange man..." :blubber: "and ended up here!"  
Lang:contemplates on whether to take Nils home: ' Eh, he's so close to home, I'll leave him here.'  
Lang:ventures on:  
Nils: "Waahh Momma!"  
Lang:returns:  
Nils: "Mamma! MAMA! WAHHH!"  
Lang: 'I don't have time to be looking after this kid!'  
Lang:decides to take Nils home: "Don't Worry, I'll take you home!"  
Nils:sniff: "Really?"  
Lang: "Sure, common! This way Nils"  
Nils: "Thanks."  
:Both Arrive at Green Lynx Inn:  
Lang: "Here we are, now don't you go tagging along with someone you don't know ever again! Ok?  
Nils: "Ok...But.." :head butts Lang in the groin:  
LANG RECIEVED BUSTED BALLS!  
Nils:runs away, shouting: "That's for leaving me by myself the first time!"

**Secrets Don't Make Friends**

**Scene: Kravia, first arrival  
**Myulla: "Hey Mister...wanna hear a secret? It's a really good secret."  
Lang: "A secret huh?"  
Myulla: 'Com over here so I can tell you...over here in the alley here."  
:Both out of sight:  
Myulla: "Well,..." :leans over to whisper into Lang's ear:  
Lang:girly scream: "GHAHHHH! NO!" :runs out of the alley:  
Lang:white as a ghost:  
:Out comes Myulla/Cloud Strife:  
Cloud: in his signature dress-up and makeup from FF7:signature shrug: "...All I said was I'm a big LoL fan! What'd you think I said?"

**Total Randomness-ness...ness**

**Scene: Lab in Drakin castle dungeon  
**Lang: "...Books on Demonolgy? Dark Magic?..." :walks over to 'pods'  
Lang: "...Didn't I see this in a game?" :tap tap:  
:SPLOOSH:Out crawls 'gimard':  
Lang:readies to fight:  
Gimard:In scroll a top hat and dancing cane: "Hello my baby! Hello my darlin'! Hello my ragtime gal-" :starts to exit, which ever exit is close:  
Gimard: "When you put pizza on a bagel you can have pizza anytime!"  
Lang:OO:puts hands in pockets: "Ladies and gentlemen, keep you hands inside the ride at all times."

**I Rike my Rock!**

**Scene: Infront of barren lake of Nohl  
**Kazan: "Lang, abou this Aqualith...what exactly _is _it?"  
Lang: "Let's see, well... it floats, very shiny, water comes out of it...and OH! It's a rock!"  
Lang:happy, animeish teary-eyes: "And I like to stare at it for a really long time and sing in a high pitched voice 'I Rike my Rock, I Rearry Rike my Roooooohk! It's so berry berry priddy! My priddy priddy Rooooohk!'"

**Is that So-**

**Scene: Rivas and Lang discussing the Aqualith  
**Rivas: "A rock that makes water...It can mean only one thing."  
:Dramatic Pause:  
Rivas: --: "That was a turtle going 'wee-wee'"  
Lang:in utter awe: "Is that Sooo?"


	5. Laugh your Butt off, it's good excersise

Laugh Out Legaia

**Roger Roger!**

Scenerio: Battle

Vahn:randomly pulls out a head set as well: "Big Blue to Big Bird we got us a situation!"

Barra:appears with head set on:

Gala and Noa:gawk:

Barra: "Copy that, Big Blue-Target found."

Barra:takes enemy high into the air:

Random Airforce:jet appears zooming through the airspace:airbrakes:

Pilot:tunes into channel:"You! You're in violation of government airspace… please land your….thing."

Barra: "Goin dowwnnnn!" :performs Hells Dive:

Vahns party received 'National Summons Vahns Party has been 'Court-Martialed'

Gala: "Vahn, you Dumbass."

**It Coulda Happened like this**

Scenario: Battle with Xain

Gala:performs Thunder Punch:

Xain:K.O.'ed:

Vahn: "And take this too! YARGH!" :performs Tornado Flame:

Xain:revived due to burning scalp:wailing and running about cartoonish-style: " Oww! You darn brats! Oww-wow-wow-wow!"

Gala: "NOA! Quit hitting those bongos and do something!"

Noa:performs Frost Breath:

Xain:reverts to seru form:lava has frozen over:

Gala: "Oh Tieg…"

Xain: "Ha! Neener neener neener! You brats'll be had sooner or later! You and your little dog too!"

Vahn: "Bark!"

**Hamma Time!**

Scenario: After acquiring 'Weed Hammer'

Noa:stupidly running around with weed hammer: "Dooty-doot-da-doot!"

Gala:angrily barks at her: "Noa! Running around with hammers is dangerous!"

Vahn:running around with two survival knives: "Yeah! Stupid!"

Gala:sigh: "Besides, we need to use that to break the 'Hard Grass'. "

Vahn:goes into 'stoner-like trance':whisks hammer from Gala and does a 'you-know who style stance:

Vahn: "WHOO0-HOO! HAMMA TIME!"

**You Can't do that on Legaia! (But, it'd be pretty funny!)**

Scenario: Drake Castle

Vahn:walks to one of the scientists that are conversion amongst themselves:

Scientist 1: "The Genesis Trees were created by Tieg! Fascinating!"

Scientist 2: "Both humans and Ra-Seru arose from Tieg! Fascinating!"

Vahn:silently mocks scientist as he approaches the third scientist:

Scientist 3: 'Noa was born into the royal family of Conkram?-"

Vahn:makes a disgusted sour face:

Scientist 3: "Fascinating!"

Vahn:kipes the scientists blue glasses:

Vahn:awed and waves hand infront of scientists head: "Take off their glasses and you take off their whole face!" :grins: "Awsomes."

**Hello, Goodbye!**

Scenario: Sol Cafe, after the Mist

Vahn: "Hey,...you guys hungry?"

Noa:drool: "YAH! Is it supper time?"

Gala: "Ugh. You two are always hungry! Fine, what about the cafe upstairs?"

Vahn and Noa: "Yeah!"

At the Cafe-

Vahn :looks around for a table:

Man at table with leg propped up: "Get out of here, leave me alone!"

Waitress:approaches the party:bow courteously: "Hello! Sorry, but we're still getting ready. Goodbye!" :walks away:

Noa:pouts: "Aw, no food."

Vahn:snickers and elbows Gala: "Hello! Did you check out that outfit?" :makes obscure chest groping motion:

Gala: "No. I did notice she had somewhat of a shadow..."

Man at table: "HEY! Blue boy! Were you checking out my brother!"

Vahn:pale green: "goodbye" :mad dash exit:

**Let's not touch on This-Oh what the hey!**

Scenario: Sol tower, second story of inn. (the inn is below the jazz club,...this is an actuall game quote...besides Vahns)

Lady: "When the Mist cleared and my husband came home, I realized what the real tragedy of Sol is."

Vahn: "That's Marriage for ya."

**You Go Vahn!**

Scenario: Sol inn, below Jazz club, couple by the fish tank

Man: "Hey! Who asked you to get rid of the Mist? Why don't you mind your own business!"

Vahn:confused:

Lady: "Stop that! What's the matter with you, talking like that?"

Man:guilt-stricken: "I-I'm sorry dear. I just got carried away."

Lady: "Vahn, I'm so sorry. My husband is just so ill mannered."

Vahn:huffs up cockily, reapproaches man:

Man: "Oh yeah, that's right. I'm married! I completely forgot!"

Vahn: "...I'm not." :fight:

**Be Kind to Your Healing Wing'd Friends**

**(Inspired by Laegreffon D. Laizare)**

Scenario: Random battle, Rikuroa

Vahn:summons Vera:

Vera:Appears, Spazzing from magic overuse: "Vera Heal, Vera Cure Poison, Vera Cure Rot!"

Noa: "I don't wanna die!" :attempts to flail rotten arm, falls off:

Vera: "Go ROT in hell!" :vanishes:

Mysterious Game Voice Over: Vera got away

Vahn: "He'll be back." :in cooful voice: "He wikes his magic weaves…."

Vera :zips back to the scene: "Roah boy, I rike my reaves!" : all giddy:

**You So Funny Drunk Men!**

Scenario: two on the right side of the jazz club

Man on left of table: "The drink called 'Hope'? Yeah, I remember how it tastes. It's like a dreamy future in a glass…"

Vahn: "Whatta bout a Slippery N-"

Man on the Right of Table: "See? I was right. There is hop and dreams in this place, just like I said."

Vahn: "Yeah, and you said pink elephants were after you."

Man on the Right:burp: "Yehp! And they're gonna make me their royal majesty!"

Vahn: "So **that's** why you're all pink."

Man on the Right:hiccup: "I'm the princess of preetiness. Kiss ME!" :;passes out:Big lettered K.O.'ed appears obove the mans head:

Vahn: "Fascinating!"

**Boom Boom!**

Scenario: Noa goes to final round against Mary the Dancing Queen

Mary:enters, theme playing in the background:

"Boom boy say, boom boom! Baw by da boom the bomb bay-be. incoherent (repeat boom boy say) Bomb by the tight ladies. Babes babes babes, Biahtch-"

Gala: "Vahn!...you rap?"

Vahn:all blinged out: "Yo'."

**Shhh! Be Vewy Vewy Quiet,… -NOA!**

Scene: Fishing area on Sebeccus Islands

Vahn:actually acting normal: "Ehrr…Noa,…you're scaring the fish."

Noa:running up and down the bank, flailing her arms and splashing about: "Yay! This is fun! Look at the fish! I want to be a fish!"

Noa:singing: "Fishy fishy fishee! I want to be a fish!"

Gala:savoring the moment: "I am **enjoying** this."

Vahn:scrunches his face, with fluid movement bonks Noa on the head with fishing pole: "Be **_Quiet_**."

Noa:K.O'd:


	6. Christmas in June? YES! It's Refreshing

**Juggernauts' Comin' to Town**

Here comes Juggernaut,

Here comes Juggernaut,

Right to Rim Elms Gate

Here comes juggernaut

Here comes juggernaut

looking quite irate

He's on a mission

of demolition

All eyes full of tears and fright

Get to bed and cover your head

'Cause Juggernauts' Coming toNIGHT!

**Oh Come all Ye (Ra-seru)Heroes**

Oh come all ye Heroes

Bo-ld and triumphant

Oh come ye, oh come ye to Conk-ram

Come and destroy them,

the mist-crazed seru

Born from the breath of ROGUE

Oh come and kick his ass

oh come and kick his ass

Oh come and kick his evil ass

Brave, brave (ra-seru) Heroes!

**Gimard the Fire Seru**

Gimard the Fire seru

had a very flaring tail

And if you ever saw it,

you'd probably be on fire.

**Freed-y th' Seru**

Freed-y th' seru

Was a chilly, mist-crazed beast

He was a wolf like thing,

with a frosty breath sting,

and a heart made from the cold.

**The Night of Juggernaut**

Twas the night for disaster,

and all through the land,

everyone lay their head in their hand-

For out and beyond the wall of Rim Elm

Were those that were from a different realm.

From the wall arose such a sound,

that a blue haired boy awoke, to look around.

There was Gimard, and Freed, and oh whoa nelly!

Something that looked like last years old jelly!

Then there was last, but not forgot

the Great and Fearsome Juggernaut.

It blasted the wall, and the hordes roared in,

and it seemed as if Hell of Earth had begin,

Yet lo was the boy who went to a tree,

and a small judgment was passed upon he,

With intentions so pure, and courage so True,

He gained powers of a Ra-seru

Together the two drove the beasts away,

saving Rim Elm,

thus saving the day.

And so away they went to save the world,

whose future had yet to be unfurled.

A girl named Noa, who was raised by a wolf who lived in a cave

A Biron monk who 'thinks' he's brave.

And all I can say, and yes this is sass-

What the hell ever, Juggernaut kicks ass!

**We Three Delilas'**

Scene: Absolute Fortress

The Delilas' approach a mist-blanketed lake. They are dressed in fine garbs, and have each a present to bestow before the new born Baby Juggernaut.

Lu: "I bring you the heart of a virgin" she announces, laying down a box at the edge of the cliff. A mighty gray claw reaches up and grabs the jeweled box.

Che:" I bring you the tears of thousands who wept in fear of your name being uttered." A large finely crafted jar is presented in the same matter as the box.

The two siblings look to their brother, who has brought: a diaper bag of baby amenities, a bottle in one hand and a rattle in the other. He gives them both dirty looks, and shakes the rattle at them scornfully.

Gi: "He's a BABY! Jesus! What's a baby going to do with all that stuff?"

Che scoffs: "Well, it's not frankincense and myrrh, but I'm sure he-"

Lu: "OR 'she'."

Che: "-would appreciate it more than that stuff!"

A rumble is heard below.

Gi: "Tumbody's hungwy!"

The three look below the Mist to see a diapered baby Juggernaut on its back, gnawing and drooling on the present that Lu had given. It adverts its bright blue eyes to their directions, and smiles a toothless smile.

The Deililas': "Aww!"


End file.
